It's okay to slow down sometimes

Saturday morning reading

http://mobile.nytimes.com/blogs/well/2015/08/27/living-with-cancer-collateral-damage/

Cancer card

My cancer card is probably going to be revoked soon due to lack of use. I don't park in handicap spaces. I don't jump to the front of the bathroom line (even when I really need to.) I don't claim the last brownie because "well, I've got cancer." And I don't play soccer from inside a plastic bubble.

So when I was getting shoved and kicked tonight, maybe I should have taken it as a compliment. I guess they looked at me and saw a soccer player. It didn't feel like a compliment though.

Working hard

• Bloodwork and treatment at Siteman West County

Good news! My blood test results are all back in their normal ranges. Well, except for my little neutrophils who still struggle to keep up.

I do have to remember that my body is working really hard. My liver, my gall bladder and all that stuff down there are working to rid my body of toxins. Getting that chemo through my system and out is hard work. And getting any stinking cancer cells out is hard work too. So they might be elevated and stressed from time to time.

It's all part of the process of learning my new normal.

That moment

You know that moment when you pull up your patient portal to check on the time for your next appointment and you notice that you have new test results. Hmm.

That moment when you see that one of the regular tests from Tuesday's blood work came up a little high and further testing was done.

That moment when you call the nurse to check on your missing appointment time (just a problem with the patient portal website) and you ask about the additional testing.

That moment when she says that they aren't concerned yet but it's something they are going to continue to monitor closely.

That moment when you pull up the test's historical data and you notice the upward trend. It's that moment when you feel like you can't feel anything.

My next round of bloodwork on the 18th can't come soon enough.

Busted can of biscuits

• Bloodwork, appointment with Dr. T and treatment at Siteman South County

We got the results of the Guardant liquid biopsy test today. They found ZERO mutations. They can run this test every three months though to see if there are any changes. More information can be found here: https://www.guardanthealth.com. I don't completely understand it all and we got the results after my appointment with Dr. T this morning, so I won't get to talk to him about it until my next scheduled appointment with him in October. My basic understanding is that the results aren't giving us anything new to work with... as far as future treatment options.

 

Dog-sitting is hard work

Not many better ways to celebrate the night before treatment than a nice dip in the pool after work.

Say cheese

• Bloodwork, appointment with Dr. T NP S and treatment at Siteman South County

This is apparently what I look like when I'm trying to take a picture of myself smiling during treatment. I'm not sure I could even try to recreate some of these faces.

We had a good conversation with NP S today, as Dr. T and NP A are both out-of-town. She assured me that the pain and swelling that I've been experiencing could very well be due to the Xeloda and it's cumulative efforts. So I'm going to start tracking it all even better, when it starts, how long it lasts, etc. to see if we can tie it back to the Xeloda. And of course it could be a million other things but my CT is clear, so that's the news we're going to focus on.

Hot mess

• Appointment at the Siteman Cancer Care Clinic at Big Barnes

If this is what my future holds for me, I'm going to need to add my doctor's office to my Friends & Family plan**.  I'm just not good at being sick. I've traded voicemails and calls a couple times with a couple nurses today and I'm just freaking out. My abdomen is swollen and I understand that my CT was clear, but something doesn't feel right. The pain in my side is like a 6 on the 1-10 scale. Aaaaand I'm supposed to go out of the country on Sunday. Help.

I get an afternoon appointment at the clinic and my sister Laura swings by my office to take me... but after some negative blood work to check for a possible infection, I'm headed back home.

** Don't be insulted if you aren't on it by the way, it's purely hypothetical.

Loopty loop

• CT scan at Barnes West County Hospital

I was really nervous for today's scan. It didn't help that after I got my port accessed and I was mere steps away from the machine... it went off-line. My options were to reschedule my scan (not an option) or go to the main hospital and get worked into their schedule. Another line, another hospital pager!

I made it back to work after the scan but I wasn't focused. My brain was in a never-ending loop of "scan results, scan results, consequences of scan results." I decided to take some of Teri's advice from yesterday and I placed a call through to my nurse... just to check... maybe they would have some preliminary results. And bingo! NED is still in town.