One day at a time

• Bloodwork, appointment with Dr. T and treatment at Siteman South County

I was hoping to see Dr. T today but instead it was two NPs again. The good news is that the scans look good. There is mention of a stable cyst in my liver but this is the first time that I've heard about it so they are going to have last week's test compared to my MRI from January. We were able to pull the March CT images up while we were talking and you can see that yes, it is the same size, or "stable", but there is no mention of it in that CT report. When I ask for clarification for how they know it is a cyst, NP A says it shows up differently on the scans. I'm not totally convinced. I mean, I trust her but really, it could be anything, right?

My bloodwork is okay, except my poor neutrophils are struggling again. While we aren't changing today's treatment, we will be keeping an eye on them and could possibly reduce my Xeloda dose in 2 weeks. They are low enough that again I am reminded to be careful being around anyone showing signs of being sick and to be extra careful about washing my hands, etc.

During my appointment at the counseling center yesterday, my new psych was asking me if I had ever had a talk with Dr. T about my prognosis for my particular case, ie: more than a generalized outcome based solely on my initial diagnosis. And the answer to that is NO. Well, it was, until today. It took me a while to get the question out and I started crying but NP A knew what I was asking. And yes, the average survival time for stage IV colon cancer is 2.5 to 3 years from diagnosis but I am currently not showing any signs of disease so it could be longer than that. Of course she can't predict the future or guarantee anything, but the fact that I am NED right now would lead her to believe that I could be above average. I'm summarizing here and using my words not hers exactly but basically that was it. So we keep moving forward, one day at a time.