Let's do this

• Appointment with Dr. T and FOLFOX #10

My neutrophils are up, but only to the lowest possibly number that allows me to have treatment. Dr. T is reducing my treatment today, although he reassures us that it does not reduce the effectiveness. Yesterday's ct shows no signs of metastatic disease, a welcomed positive sign in this craziness, but we're still a long way from cartwheels.

Today is another slow chemo day to avoid a reaction and it is 6 p.m. by the time we leave for home.

Mindfulness practice

So to be fair, I signed up for this class before I knew that today was going to be a day full of other appointments. But I still wanted to go. The class is titled Mindfulness-Managing Stress with Present Moment Awareness. It took place at the Cancer Support Community office and I enjoyed it for the most part. Sometimes though, you just don't connect with somebody the right way, and that's how I felt about the instructor. I just didn't connect with her in a way that made me feel comfortable sharing what I would want to share in this type of situation. And part of that has to do with the fact that I stayed after the mindfulness class for her colon cancer support group. I did see that support group listed on the calendar for tonight, but the subject listed specifically for tonight didn't apply to me AND I'm not really a support group kind of person. What I'm trying to say is that I had ZERO intentions of staying. It turns out that the support group is usually just one other lady, and she joined us about 15 minutes late. I just didn't connect to them, it's that simple. And it has just been a super long day.

Hello friend

• CT scan

Is it a good sign or a bad sign when the CT tech recognizes you from previous visits? Today's scan was super fast, one quick trip in each direction and I'm done.

A brunchless brunch

I met Teri and a group of her survivor friends for brunch today. With a CT scheduled for 1:45, I couldn't do any actual brunching, but it was good to meet more inspiring ladies and to continue growing my hope that I can keep living through all of this. 

Just what I needed this morning

• Appointment with Dr. K at the Siteman Counseling Center (West co)

I'm came into today's appointment feeling kind of beat down, but I left feeling more positive. Dr. K reminded me that I am DOING this. And she thinks that I am doing it well.

Unexpected pink coyote sighting

• Lab work at Siteman West County

The waiting room is crowded this morning and I find a seat on the far side with my back to the entryway back to the lab. I hear my name, pop up and turn around and start walking towards....... Carla?

Ut oh. "Hi? Carla?" You know when you see people out of context and sometimes it takes a few minutes to put it all together. Well it only look a second. I've known Carla for probably 6-7 years and it's from playing soccer (usually) against her. She's always been super nice to me and Hector both and I like her a lot, regardless of the fact that she plays goalie for our Thursday night "rivals". I don't think rivals is really the right word to set the scene, based on the years of battles and not-so-friendly exchanges between my teammates and hers. But we'll go with rivals for now.

Clearly my cancer diagnosis is news to Carla and after she accesses my port and draws today's blood samples, we talk for a minute and I'm out the door of the lab. As I'm walking out, I can hear her start to talk to her co-workers "I play soccer...", and I'm out.

Colon cancer awareness dress in blue day

Rough day for this guy

I've never claimed to have a green thumb but we actually have a plant-care company that comes into work to take of these guys. Maybe he just missed me.

NOTE: Within 30 minutes of watering/my arrival, he was much happier.

The Starfish Story

Here we go again

• Appointment with Dr. T

Let's face it. The last round was tough, I had more side effects than I had any time before and I felt bad, really bad for longer than I would have liked. But today is a new day, and .......

Time out. My body is trying to tell us something. My blood counts have not recovered from treatment two weeks ago and today is a no-go. The cumulative effect of the treatments is catching up with me, even with my surgical break. I think I can see my tiny white blood cells waving tiny white flags. Even though I've already had three Neupogen shots in the past week, the little guys need more help. I'll have three more shots this week and we'll try again next Tuesday.